to said 'ex'
- 1 -
As of late I remain heartbroken. I fear my continued entreaties fall on none but deaf ears. He who devised and designed this dreadful idea of romanticism surely did so out of scorn; perhaps betrayal. You have not answered my letters of late when before you were so quick to respond with your gentlest of words.
I hope this letter finds you well as I would rather see your affections toward me lost than a delay borne of illness or despair.
If I have done something, yea, anything, to give rise to your uncharacteristic behavior of our last visit, please do tell me so I may begin to right any wrongs perceived or otherwise.
I tell you again as I have in so many letters before; my feelings for you remain yet unchanged. It is to you I give my very soul even if you you to break and discard after so little amusement. For it is better rubbish in your hands than to have it whither alone in me.
Your ever hopeful love,
- 2 -
fuck me for believing
that everyone here
in their own special way
what the hell happened?
i didn't move out here for this,
- 3 -
Sweetheart, darling, light of my life,
Perhaps you could begin to explain just what it was that happened. From my own head it seems I triggered something. Once on, you were not the you I had enjoyed. It seemed as though I ceased to be a person and became a variable; a conquest, a task to be bested by a routine set of actions without thought or emotion.
Even your kiss was cold.
You became impatient, callus and wholly false.
At least I hope to god THAT was the false part.
My god, I don't even think you like me; or better phrased - it didn't feel like you liked me. Astoundingly, that hurt.
Direct rejection is painful, but easier to deal with due to its honesty.
To feel played is much worse.
To feel victim to mechanized behavior in an intrinsic poke at lowered defenses.
In younger days, there'd have been 'whys' whined and tears and self depreciation you'd never have heard.
Now, there is just the desire for clarification
and the knowledge that if I didn't like you
I wouldn't ask for even that.
whining on the inside,
there is the vacuum.
we are new.
(if need be i am happy to remove the promo crap there)